What it’s like to not have that one dream job

there might be certain questions that linger around the phase of life you are in and I’m sure you have heard them before too. It can be “when are you guys getting married?” when you have been in a happy relationship for over a year. it can be “are any babies on the way?” when said marriage happened or “have you ever thought of buying instead of renting?” whenever someone thinks its time for you to invest your money into property. I’m sure most of those questions come from a good intention and are not meant in a mean way, they can be highly inappropriate and very hurtful plus theres not always a need to share. one questions that has been hovering over my age group for the past years and it probably won’t leave until I’m ready to retire is “what is your dream job? what do you want to do?” and more recently “what is your career?”. many of my friends are just waiting for *that* question to come up so they can talk proudly about the job they have been dreaming about for years, worked towards with the perfectly fitting degree and internships and now they are ready to tackle that career path and climb up the ladder. when someone asks me one of those questions it usually is met with an unintentional eye-roll and bracing myself to tell the same story over and over again because: I don’t have a dream job!

now, hear me out right here, or when you feel the same: you know what I’m trying to say, it doesn’t mean I’m not passionate or even lazy but there has never been that burning dream inside me to become just that one thing and nothing else would ever fulfill me. I have so many friends around me who burn for their careers as social workers, police officers or teachers whilst I have many smaller fires burning inside me for many things and there just isn’t that one desire in me. as much as I have come to terms with it theres still two sided to it.

the cons:

when it came to my academical path, there wasn’t that one degree I just wanted to go for. in fact, I was completely overwhelmed and very unhappy and just not in tune with myself I went for a degree that sounded good and one that people thought highly off and its law and I hated every minute of it. it left me burned out, anxious and with various health issues and I never even wanted to use it despite being good at it. and that’s one of the biggest cons: feeling like you don’t fit in like you are not as passionate or driven just because you are not always talking about *that* job or your picture-perfect career. but that is not true. you are passionate but your passion is flexible.

one of the biggest cons for me is not realizing quickly that one path isn’t made for me. because I lack the need for one and one path only, I can do many things I don’t feel too passionate about for a really long time and be good at it whilst it mentally and emotionally drains me and over a long period of time kills my happiness. it basically slowly drives me into a horrible identity crisis and its the biggest con about not having that one dream job and it can be extremely painful. its the only reason why I didn’t drop out of law school and willingly let it pain me for years.

the pros:

to be fair, it took me a while to figure out that I don’t actually have that one dream job and that it’s not the end of the world. I found that it took away a lot of pressure for me to be brilliant at that one thing. Since I never understood why I should settle into my forever career in my 20s and I always thought it would limit my opportunities and skills and since I’m quite sensitive to pressure it really helped me a lot that not having that one dream job helped me to let get off the pressure and focus on me and the abundance of skill and passion inside me.

the biggest pro for me has to be my flexibility when it comes to jobs and my career. yes, I’m not in a law career because I couldn’t care less about is as its not my dream job. the career I’m in now is far from it but so much fun to me and it was a chance I was able to grab with both hands because I’m not fixed on that one thing. I want to do more and sometimes I want to do it all. the flexibility of not wanting to settle into one and only one career and it makes me feel like I can grow. it also leaves me with a sense of adventure and a love for life and all the things I don’t know yet.

my outfit

Dress: InTheStyle

Bag: Zara

Shoes: Zara

Location: Heilandskirche, Brandenburg, Germany

What about you? do you have that one dream job? let me know what you think and feel. I would love to know.


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