My Birth Control Experience

today we are talking about something, that i really haven’t shared much at all on the internet but wanted for ages. to some, talking about sexuality, birth control and everything like that nothing comforting. despite it being a bit scary to share my thoughts and experience with you all, i don’t really have a problem with it at all. i just wanted to wite this post because i can’t be the only one with this experience and i sometimes wish i had something like this to read when i was young and first started taking the pill and especially when i was struggeling for so long. this topic is so relevant no matter if you are getting on birth control for the first time in your life or if you are looking for something new. so i hope you can take away something from this post. i also would love to hear your experience and have the comment section of this post as a good way to discuss this topic.

how i started
i first got on the birth control pill, which might be the one type of birth control that is the most common. i was 15 and had my first boyfriend and my parents and i decided it would be better to be safe than sorry so i went to the gyn and had one prescribed to me which i carried on taking for almost 5 years. i never had problems with it and was very strict with it.
the pill essentially is hormones that your body would naturally produce during prenancy. by taking them in you won’t get pregnant again because your body already thinks you are carrying a baby. i was advised to take mine for 3 weeks and then have a break in which you will bleed. this bleeding however is not a period because you don’t have a cycle anymore. in german its called abortion bleeding because your body thinks the “pregnancy” is over due to the sudden lack of hormones. sounds scarry right? and thats what it is. side effects can include weight gain, depression, trombose and many more and to be honest, i wasn’t well educated about this until some heavy side effects kicked in…
my side effects
as i said, everything was going fine until one day. it was like something in my body switched. i remember so vividly sitting on the train home from a lovely day out with a friend when nausea hit me like a wave and it took me solid 20 minutes to figure out what it was as i’m not really one to feel that way at all. i was up all night, not being sick but feeling like death and the nausea never left. it was clinging onto me and some days it was just a slightly queezy feeling, other days i felt like i would be sick every second. i have a big fear of throwing up and it was horrible. my anxiety which i haven’t really known about went mental and i got very, very down. i felt unmotivated, anxious, sad and almost like there was a grey sheen over every step i took. because i have been taking the pill for so long i thought about everything else first but nothing helped so i sat crying in my bed at night because i felt so sick when my mum suggest i should see my gyn and my doctor. my gyn basically said there was not other option than the pill for me and it was safe to i lost all hope until i saw my doctor and after i described to her what was going on the first thing she said was: “are you taking the pill? because that might be it!”
my solution? hormone free!
it was safe to say that i was confused at first but it started making sense. i never educated myself on how bad hormones that your body doesn’t necessarily needs can be for your health. i never went back to my old gyn and saw a new one. the experience i had was everything i wanted and how it should have been when i first entered the doctors office at 15. she basically talked me through every possible way of birth control and what it does. because my side effects have been so bad she advised me to get off the pill and opt for a hormone free option. we settled for the copper coil which was what i wanted.
because i was on the pill for so long it took a few months for my sickness to leave but i got better every day. i got my copper coil inserted about a month after getting off the pill. it is inserted when you are on your period as it has to be placed in your uterus. you can go for painkillers but i didn’t and despite it being painful to insert, the pain lasted for a maximum of 2 seconds and it was done. no taking pills anymore. a few months after i had my copper coil inserted my side effects had gone completely, i experienced a natual cycle for the first times in my life and i got to know my body so much more. i can feel when i’m ovulating, i can feel when my period will start and my constant nausea was gone and it never came back. the greyness in my life left and everything suddenly became vibrant again. the emotions i felt seemed like the emotions i should feel and i felt so much more myself and like i was in control of my body and feelings.
i wasn’t the only one
i was the first in my group of friends who went off the pill and it didn’t take long until my friends had to stop taking it. everyone had all in all the same experience. you feel grey, unmotivated, like your emotions aren’t your own. weirdly, all of them were in their early 20s and since i got mine about 3 years ago, almost all of my friends switched to hormone free too and everyone recommends it. even my 16 year old sister went for the copper coil and never took the pill. 
i know everyones body is different and some might have no problems at all with the pill. some might have way different side effects than the ones i experienced. whats important is that YOU do whats good for YOUR BODY and educate yourself on what you are doing to it and if thats actually any good. this is my experience and i have to say, going hormone free changed my life. for the better.

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