Never go for a Boy from School // Dating Column Chapter Three

To make a few things clear again, sex and your sexuality are up to you. I grew up in a society where there’s no pressure to not do just that and I never had a problem with having sex also in just a casual way. After growing my wings and flying high as I broke free from a very toxic relationship, I was looking for everything but a new relationship. I think I was still looking for me, looking for who I truly was. I wanted to focus on myself and enjoying each day. The thought of getting into a new relationship was making me anxious and I was scared that what I just broke free from would happen again. What I was looking for was the sweet taste of “nothing too serious” and till this day my favourite moment to experience is kissing someone for the first time. It’s magical and filled with excitement and can taste like freedom or cheap vodka.

I always had one rule: don’t date a guy from school. First, because I was always friends with many guys and I liked keeping it a friendship. Also, I’ve witnessed more drama with school couples than a simple girl could take and I like to keep my relationships where they belong: between the people who are in the relationship. So there was my rule…guess what? I broke it.

Being friends with guys has many benefits. They are way more easy going, there’s hardly any drama and they will go out to grab a beer basically whenever. Also, they usually have a car which is very handy in many ways. So there was this guy, tall, dark hair and very, very funny. Not bad looking too and he was a ladies’ man, always with a girl but never in a nasty way. He was a bit older and was the first one to own a car. We always got along just fine and I knew he always liked me so I remember standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus to go home when he rolled around in his mums bright red car (did anybody ever have a cool first car?) offering me a ride home as he lived pretty close and that’s where it started. From that point onwards he gave me a ride on a regular and we also started hanging out after school even if we just drove to get ice cream for his family, nothing serious which is just what I wanted but it became pretty evident pretty quickly that we both wouldn’t mind having a casual affair. So in that bright red car which was tiny I might add, we kissed for the first time and it was like that very kiss which meant nothing but a bit of fun and games for me started drama that taught me a very important lesson: never ever go for a boy from school or in fact, a boy that anyone knows when it comes to casual sex or casual making out.

To me and I think to him everything was fine the way it was and we kept the in car making out and midnight drives to ourselves. At least I did. He was dating a girl about a year before and as far as I know, he really liked her. She, however, treated him like crap and after cheating on him with her ex-boyfriend, she also let everyone know that she wasn’t happy and that she wanted to break up. The only person who wasn’t aware was him. He found out that he was dumped when he casually walked into the bar we all used to hang out (I still go there, so does he) and saw her with a new dude. Great, very classy and lovely. So after being an absolute shitty girlfriend, she decided that she wanted him back and started going for him again despite the fact that he had no idea what actually happened. Her strategy of getting him back was texting him nonstop and asking him about me. Basically, her texts were around me and him meeting up and pressuring him into telling her that we had something going on. He kept his mouth shut…for a while.

It was a regular day, we sat in this car on our way home just chatting about whatever when he told me about his ex wanting to meet up. It was in that very conversation that I realized that he had no idea about her behaviour towards him and their relationship. He had no idea that she stayed with her ex and cheated and that everyone knew she was over him before he did. It was him who asked me to tell him the truth. I still don’t know if it was my right to tell him but sometimes I can’t keep my mouth shut. I only realized that I told him the truth after I heard myself saying it and I was able to feel this pain and anger despite him not saying one word. I remember his fingers wrapped so tightly around the steering wheel that his knuckles turned white.

I used to have my biology class on Friday mornings at 8 and I was having a good day, probably planning my weekend and looking forward to not getting up at 5:45 in the morning. I was just ready to leave the class room when I saw my phone going mental. My friend was texting me that he told her about us and that we met up and had a casual thing going on, she told me that she knew and he basically stabbed me in the back. I expected to feel my heart drop but instead, I was flipping pissed. Now I was the bitch and I still remember her and her group of friends staring at me like I committed a major crime…guess what? You weren’t dating him and you were an awful human being in that relationship. I actually never talked to her after and since she blocked and deleted me on facebook (she still has by the way) and to be fair I didn’t feel the need to explain myself and my actions since I did nothing wrong. The first I thing I did is ask him if he even thought about telling me first that he was opening up so I would be able to brace myself. His reply was: “well since everybody knows now, we can just keep going right?” well, actually not. No respect, no sex. That’s it. All this unnecessary school drama because of nothing serious taught me once more that going for a boy from school especially in a casual way is not the one and I never made the same mistake again.

Probably the saddest thing about learning my lesson was that he ended up with a girl from our year and since their relationship started he deleted me on Facebook…just why? I guess some people never grow up.


Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Outfit: Shirt: Zara // Jeans: Topshop // Shoes: H&M // Bag: TKMaxx // Rings: Stradivarius

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