kiss me like you wanna be loved

i’ve been into ed sheeran lately, again. he is one of my favourite musicians ever and his songs are just so sweet and lovely. they get right into my heart, into my soul and fill me with joy. the cutest love songs i know are written by him eventhough i’m not a big fan of love or lovesongs like bruno mars sings. they are awfull and i’ve been thinking of love in general alot lately. i just found out that one of my best friends, like really best friends, cheated on her new and really sweet boyfriend that shes dating for only a few months with her ex boyfriend and a guy whos dating a girl i know and i was shocked. is that the idea of love today? cheating and acting slutty? i broke up with my boyfriend in summer 2011, my best idea about the entire relationship so far. trying to be perfect for someone who didn’t care about me at all and made me feel terrible when i “failed” in certain situations was a horrible experience. so i didn’t date a boy since then. i’ve been out with a few, met a few but i’m simply afraid of love, of being close to someone. a person that might end up being like my ex boyfriend. eventhough i’m a loving and caring person. i will not date someone until someone shows up who makes me forget what i’ve been through. who’s honest and kind, smart and open minded, who lets me do what i want to do. so i’m gonna keep listening to ed sheeran and feel loved by his songs as long as someone comes along and kisses me like he wants so be loved.

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