oh boy, how weird and not always wonderful is it being in your 20s. your early 20s in particular. sometimes I can even fathom it and feel like I'm on a rollercoaster I never wanted to go on but you can't get off once you're strapped in and your little carrier speeds off. without any stop and weird loops and drops all around. all you can do is try to navigate it and be okay or at least try and prepare for the next bump on the road. when I was a teen, I didn't really have any idea what my twenties would be like or what would happen. I kind of went with the flow and made rough plans in my head. university, moving out, getting a job I like and eventually start thinking about marriage and babies towards the end of it. pretty standard and even though many things I planned, happened and I'm beyond grateful for my life, I wasn't prepared for my early twenties and I'm still trying to get through it. it's exhausting. its gaining responsibility and having to deal with life. it is making decisions which are important and have serious effects on your life and its failing, over and over again. so let's talk 20s and how I try to navigate them my serious efforts with adulting.




who am I?

I wish I could answer this properly but who can really? although I always thought I have been sure of who I am and what I want, there were more fears and failures I had to handle and work through than I ever wanted to. I think I have matured in so many ways and truly tried to get to know me, even the bad habits. hopefully, I'm not alone with that. how did it take me so long until I got to know myself? but its not only that, it's finding out where you belong, what you value, what your goals and passions are and who will stand the test of time or in that case: the test of 20s. it's about first full-time jobs, changing majors again because it's not the right fit, wanting to leave for travels and never return but also wanting to build a life worth living. with all the hurdles in your way and the constant trying to adjust, it's not exactly the easiest thing. especially when I don't know if I will ever find out. maybe it's more about creating something you feel comfortable in hopes your true self will thank you for it but its just so damn exhausting.

who do I want to be with?

I'm probably very lucky that I met my boyfriend before I actually turned 20 and the ride fully took off but becoming an adult together is hard work. it's struggling with the same things but not always being able to show understanding to your partner as you have to figure it all out yourself. its always having to make sure that you are still on the same roller coaster and have the hopes to get off at the same stop and hopefully made it out still respecting and loving each other. I can't really speak about dating as I have been in a committed relationship through it all but my friends have a hard time dating. its a weird thing in between having to deal with yourself but probably wanting to find someone you could be with in the long run, maybe start a family and/or build a life with. it's a weird limbo and sadly ends with frustration a lot of the time. said frustration can also come up when it comes to maintaining or building new friendships. everyone's life is moving at a weird pace, people move away or change in a way that clashes with you. the people you used to see 5 days a week turn out to actually not be friends and it can be a time of loneliness too. all of it I have experienced it but that doesn't make it less painful. 




what is adulting?

seriously, what is it? I moved into my own flat four years ago and had to deal with my own household, my own bills and everything around it from that point onwards and I don't know how many emergency calls my parents received from me. about the smallest things but all of the sudden, I felt like I had so much responsibility and things to take care off and it still overwhelms me sometimes and living by myself does make me feel more mature and settled but it's not making me feel like an adult. I haven't stopped lounging around in my Christmas PJ bottoms as soon as I get home. I still buy unnecessary sweets just in case I want to have a kinder egg when I do work around my blog (a Halloween one is waiting for me in my cupboard as we speak) and my boyfriend and I love building a mattress fort in the living room as soon as its getting colder. do proper adults feel like adults? 

what do others think?

yes, comparison is the thief of joy and you shouldn't compare your path in life to others but I think it happens to all of us. especially in a time that feels so overwhelming with a change around every corner and nothing set in stone, I feel like other people could potentially look down on me or that I'm the only one struggling with a specific task or failing at something. the age of social media makes you feel like others leading the dream life and you are barely staying afloat. it obviously is not true and everyone has their package to carry but I just can't help to feel so small sometimes. I try to remind myself every day that I'm on my way, that I'm doing well and that everyone's life pans out in different ways and no path can be compared. it hopefully will be all good one day.




my outfit


Top: Promod
Skirt: H&M
Boots: Primark
Bag: Primark

Location: Berlin, Germany
Photography: hummingbird photographs

what do you think about the 20s? what are your experiences? I hope you are doing well and I hope w will make it out feeling better than ever.

❤︎






when I feel the nights getting colder and darker, my need for a good pamper night rises. there's nothing more soothing after a long week or even in the middle of the week when I need some time for myself to be ready for a new day ahead. there is a quick influx of pampering nights when the colder season hits and its one of many things I love most. as soon as autumn truly arrived here I had to make my way out to lush and set myself the perfect autumnal bath. I always feel all you guys enjoy a pamper night too I thought it would be perfectly fine to share my autumn pamper essentials with you and maybe its time for a pamper this hump day. I'm sure you deserve it.

now, let's start with a must for every pamper. at least for me. it's a lush bath bomb and the Halloween range is just a must right now. the sparkly pumpkin bubble bar is by far my favourite of them all. it creates beautiful and soft bubbles and smells so beautiful and not too heavy. its a must for me. I recently went out and my boyfriend asked me to pick him up a new shower gel and I went for the black one as it looked nicest. it turns out, its the best smelling shower gel I have ever used. it's from tetesept and is called 01. first off, I don't think there's should be a gender specification when it comes to beauty products and scents at and to be fair, I have always preferred men scents and this is perfect. it's probably the tobacco in it but its so woody and deep and it lingers on the skin for a while. I absolutely love it and I can't imagine using anything else in the future. 
pamper nights are perfect for skincare and I know I have been spamming you with the too cool for school pumpkin range but it's not only super appropriate for the season but it also works very well. to me, the gold of the 24k gold mask makes no difference from any other hydrating sheet mask but its perfect when my skin needs some extra care. with the sleeping pack mask on top, my skin feels super plump the next morning. I have been a huge fan of the ordinary for ages but I have only just started using the buffet. its a serum to tackle dehydration, aging and uneven skin tone and it's just so lovely to use. its very light but feels rich and my skin loves it. since I tend to get very dark and puffy under eyes, especially when I'm tired or had a long day which is why I have been loving eye masks lately. the grace & co eyemasks are beautiful. they are soaked in serum, feel lovely and cooling and leave my under eye area depuffed and it also helps with the blue colour. I love them.

what do you like doing for an autumnal pamper? please let me know your favourite products so I can have even more pamper nights.

❤︎





learning new skills and learning about the unknown is one of my favorite things in this life and I must say, over the years I have learned so much. something I needed to learn for university or school, other things I learned for pleasure and there surely is much unnecessary knowledge I have. one of the best things is not only learning but also perfecting a skill. I find many skills might come to one naturally and they perfect it over time, most you can acquire through hard work and loads of practice and I always hope there are a few things that I'm really good at. even though I'm proud and happy about the skills I master or still am about to perfect, there are few I just wish I came naturally to me or had some sort of talent for or maybe just had the time and dedication to perfect it. I'm pretty impressed by skills my friends have that I wish I was better at or wish I had poured my all in but it wasn't made for me so let's talk about skills I wish I had.



drawing/painting

drawing and painting are some of the most fascinating skills one could have and I have quite a few friends who are very, very good at it. the skill to create beautiful art with just a pencil leaves me speechless most of the time. I would describe myself as quite an artistic and certainly creative person but drawing and painting is just something I'm not good at and it's a skill I've never managed to master at all. I only took very basic art classes in school and always admired the drawings of some of my very talented classmates. to be honest, I don't think its a skill I will ever truly get into, let alone perfect but still, I wish I was very good at drawing.

dancing

so don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about dancing with your friends on a night out and just having fun because my friends still go out with me which means my dancing can't be all that bad but there are plenty of very, very talented dancers out there and just have to admire their skill. the way they know their body and have a feeling for rhythm and music is just beautiful and there is not even a specific genre I prefer, everything from ballet to modern to hip-hop and any kind of street dance. it's all beautiful and yes, I can dance in the club but that's about it. maybe I will get into it at some point as I took dance lessons when I was a kid but for now, I'm admiring all the dancers from afar.





patience

patience is key sometimes and it makes life much calmer. I know I have gotten much better with it but patience is something that doesn't come easily to me and I basically want everything to happen immediately. sometimes I just got to wait things out and let them happen. I know everyone gets impatient sometimes and gets fed up with slow progress but I know many people who master this skill so much better than I do and I admire them beyond belief. I just need to make sure waiting things out and seeing what happens is better than freaking out because I'm so impatient. 

calligraphy

this actually is a skill I make my mission to learn in my life. something about calligraphy makes me feel so calm and its so fascinating to see. you can create so many beautiful art pieces with it. I know there are classes which you can book and learn the skill and I so want to it at some point. I can only imagine the beautiful cards and prints I could create with it and maybe even utilize the skill for my blog and social media too. it's a skill I really want to learn and master.




my outfit




Dress: Primark
Scarf: Primark
Tights: H&M
Shoes: Primark
Boots: Primark
Bag: Primark
Glasses: Ace&Tate

Location: Britzer Garten, Berlin, Germany

are there any skills you wish you mastered or you want to learn? please let me know.

❤︎






My Home is my safe place. its where I feel most comfortable. I can recover from a long day and enjoy a slow evening, host guests and just be. I'm more than grateful to be able to live in my beautiful prewar flat with tall ceilings, beautiful hardwood floors and all be beautiful wooden windows. when I walked in to view it, I fell in love instantly and knew it was my home. that was 4 years ago and I can't quite believe how long I have been here and how happy I still am with my place. my boyfriend actually helped me move in and it was just a few months later when he unpacked his boxes too and all of the sudden, without big planning or hunting for places together, we lived in the same flat. it was a one if the best days and looking back, I can't believe how easy going we were about it. I love living with my boyfriend, don't get me wrong but living together is not a big glittery cloud of love and happiness. it's bickering, negotiating and ultimately making it work. it's a great adventure and most days, its a big sleepover with your best friend but other days you might just want to be by yourself. I can only speak for myself and how it is living with a man so it might be different for you, but lets talk about what living together really is like:




no prime time

there's a concept about dating and the time you spend together when you don't have a joined living space and its what I like calling "prime time". usually, when you are in a relationship but have separate places to live, you decide when you want to see each other. how many times that is up to you. when you are in the sweet, sweet honeymoon phase it's basically every free second and when you had the busiest week of your life, it might be just an afternoon or the Saturday night date and sleep over that kept you going all week. it's your prime time. you actively choose to spend time together and it's cherished. when you feel too tired, stressed or are in the worst mood or simply want to be by yourself, you can be and that totally fine and in a good relationship is respected by your partner. when you live together, there is no prime time unless you actively set prime time but you will see your partner after the worst day of work, after a bicker with your sibling, when you have the worlds worst migraine and when you don't want anyone around you because you live together. yes, being with the person you love can help you lift the bad moods and can be just the support you need but it can also stress the hell out of you. its a case of serious learning when your partner needs your words of wisdom and when its just better to be quiet and let them be and especially, in the beginning, it can lead to some arguments and is something everyone has to work out for themselves and oh boy, has it taken us some snapping and adjusting to find out what's right. 

all the mess

so I can only speak for me being in a loving relationship and living with a male so if its different when living with the same gender or any other way, feel free to let me know your experience but god, i did not know that my partner and also my friends boyfriends have no idea about simple household chores. doing a simple load of washing can become a crisis by thinking its okay to add a bright red t-shirt to a load of white blouses or washing a pure wool jumper regularly. it has all happened in my house. I didn't know that when my boyfriend installed is other girlfriend, his ps4, I would have practically adopted a toddler. I don't know how many times I had to remind him to wash is lunch Tupperware so it won't mold or that its no crime to put his cereal bowl into the sink before leaving for work. I had emergency calls from him asking if its normal that the whole washing machine is filled with foam and bubbles because he literally put half a bottle of Ariel in it. its kind of cute but sometimes the infinite socks on the floors and the good work pants that just get dropped as soon as he comes home and probably would stay there with perfect wholes to put the feet back into until the next morning or eternity just tip me over the edge. why do I know how to take care of my flat and my male partner doesn't or does he just not care? we have come a long way since he moved in but there are still little errors happening and leave my boyfriend absolutely confused and me gobsmacked. for us, set chores he just does work best and introducing new ones slowly are the way to go and that straight up sounds like I'm raising a puppy and not living with a grown man. there are still things that don't work with my boyfriend. food shopping is one of them because it always looks like we are hosting a kids birthday party after.





learn to respect

to me, respect is one of the main factors of a good relationship and not only a loving one. respecting others opinions, their needs and respecting what someone feels comfortable and not comfortable with is a need for me to not only thrive in a relationship but also to just be able to stay with someone. needless to say that I couldn't live together with someone when I feet any lack of respect. living together means respecting your partner in a whole new way and it can be a task to tackle. it starts with the way someone gets ready for bed or work. maybe in a way you wouldn't do it yourself and for me, took a while to understand and work out how we both can have a peaceful and energizing morning as well as a relaxing evening. it also means respecting someone's needs of lone time and I need loads of that. I knew my boyfriend and I could live together when I was able to have lone time when he was in the room with me, in fact, he's sitting on the other end of the sofa right now and we haven't talked in about an hour but it's not an uncomfortable silence. we just like having lone time and just doing what we please without being interrupted by each other. we both aren't all too social when coming back to work and our conversations usually start about an hour, maybe two after we both got in from work. we had to learn to respect each other in that way. maybe you need conversation right when you come back home or don't need as much lone time but that's what you have to find out for yourself and learn to respect even more.


it's a constant compromise

there used to be a show on German tv which was basically all about young couples for friends moving into their first flat together and it showed the whole moving and renovation process. I always loved my interiors and even back then, seeing young men installing displays for their toy car collections or football trophies they won as a 6-year-old. said displays would always be in the hallway or living room and it gave me absolute horrors. don't get me wrong, if my partner would win the Olympics, I would build a whole room to display this success but we take our interiors very seriously over here. luckily, my boyfriend pretty much lets me do whatever I want but there are still a few things I would have different but it just won't work. its all about compromising about everything. if it was for me, I didn't need a huge tv and no big sound system, ps4 with tons of games and what not but my boyfriend loves it and he should have it his home. maybe we can negotiate again because a place with a man cave sounds very good to me but for now, it's all good. the constant compromise comes with it and although it can be tough, its worth it.




my outfit

Dress: H&M
Boots: Primark
Bags: Primark

Location: Steglitz, Berlin, Germany

do you live together with your partner? what have you learned? What are the challenges you had to face? Please let me know.

❤︎






there are many reasons why I'm excited for the last months of the year and one of them is lushs seasonal collection. they do Halloween and Christmas just so well and when I saw their ranges being available and had a mini freak out. baths just are better during the colder months and there's something so magical about lush gift sets and the anticipation of what amazing products they come up with for this year. when I had a lovely Saturday out with my parents, I popped into lush, not really expecting to find christmassy products. I was more on the hunt for their Halloween stock. last year, it wasn't in late September so I was very surprised to not only find the Halloween products I was looking for but also Christmas stock and this year they really went all out. there will probably be another lush haul closer to December and my lush boxing day sales haul will be on fire but for now, lets take a look at what I bought this time around and I hope you share the excitement for more festive content but don't you worry, we will be back to autumn asap.

so the Halloween product I was on the look for is the sparkly pumpkin bubble bar. it's my favourite from their Halloween limited edition. it looks so adorable, creates beautiful bubbles and the little bit of glitter just makes it even better. it has a very lovely, slightly woody scent and makes for the perfect pre- or post-Halloween bath to defrost or just relax. I prefer bubble bars to bath bombs but I had to get the perle de sel bath bomb. it just looked too beautiful to leave. its plain white with gold nuggets on the top and it was a very interesting scent. it contains sea salt and rose and almost has a salted caramel scent without the heaviness that caramel would add. I can't wait to use it. next up is the candy cane bubble bar which just looks like Christmas and even better, I doesn't smell minty. i have a weird thing with minty scented things and most of the time can't handle them so I was very pleased that this one has the very sweet and not sickly scent that peeping Santa had. it's beautiful and because its such a classic lush Christmas scent it always makes me feel pretty festive. lush keeps bringing out different versions of their bubble spinners which I find to be such a weird but also cute idea. I had to get the snowflake bubble spinner. it just looks so adorable and actually not too christmassy. it has a very fresh citrus scent and I hope it will create perfect bubbles in my bath. so the last one I got is not only covered in glitter and will make an absolute mess in my bath but it just looks so cute and the scent is my favourite. its the little puddy holly. the perfect little Christmas pudding. it smells of marzipan and cocoa butter. its incredible and I can't wait to use it.

are you a lover of lush's seasonal stock? if so, let me know if you tried any of this year's products and which ones you are most excited about.

❤︎



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