isn't it weird that we have the feeling that others can tell us how to dress and what suits us or what is on trend and what not? i could possibly go on about this for days and despite loving everything fashion and clothing i still have a huge problem with the concept of someone else telling me how do dress my body. there's such a huge discussion online on what girls should wear and what people think is "appropriate" or "flattering". time is spend thinking about clothes that are exclusive to males or females and sometimes that just weirds me out. obviously the way you dress can come from something much deeper as plain fashion, trends or your personal style. it can be deeply rooted in culture and family traditions and i will never question that and its not going to be the topic of today's post or in fact any post. today we are talking about dressing in a flattering way or how i like to call it: don't give a flying f*ck about it.
what is flattering?
flattering
/flatərɪŋ/
adjective
- enhancing someone's appearance-
flattering essentially means enhancing something about your very individual body or hiding something that shouldn't be there. so if you have a flatter chest something that would be called flattering for you would be a top that would make your boobs look bigger. or if you have wide hips like me, it would be something that would make them appear smaller...but guess what? there are still there because they are bones and I can't make them smaller. they are what they are.
when i was younger i really struggles with my body image and weight. i dealt with an eating disorder and had a very bad relationship with my body. i constantly felt like my body, my perfectly fine body wasn't good enough, like the fashion and clothes i so loved weren't made for me and like i couldn't wear them. clothes should be fun and it should bring you joy but what if you are close to crying in the changing room in Zara because you feel so bad about yourself?
maybe my new found love for fashion and not caring if what i wear is flattering for me comes from me changing my eating habits, shaping my body and gaining confidence back but buying clothes that way is just so much better for my general well-being and that was it should be about you. about your body and what you like, so yes, if you like to wear something that hides something that you don't want to be shown than go ahead and wear something you feel good about. because that i what dressing yourself is truly about. you should feel good about yourself, ready for your working day ahead, ready to get a glass of wine and a good catch up or the date you have been looing forward to for a few days that is what clothing should do for you. you shouldn't feel like you can't wear things because your hips are to wide or your boobs are too small. guess what? you are probably perfectly fine as you are and there are things you can change if you want. i changed my body and i will keep on shaping it and you can do the same but you should never feel like you have to.
when i went to London i was browsing Topshop and i came across this beautiful, very statement top. its huge, its cute, it has a collar and it has ruffles. basically not flattering at all for a girl with boobs and hips and when i tried it on i was so close to leaving it as the words "not flattering" ket sparking up in my brain but on the other hand i loved everything about it and i bought it because i love i and because of that i bought it and i wear it. i don't care if it makes me look bigger because i feel great in it. that's what fashion is about. no one can tell me what to wear except me. i think there should be a change in the industry, one of the many changes that should be made to not tell any men or women what kind of fabric thy should put on their body. clothes don't need to be flattering, they nee to dress you in the way that brings joy to you.
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location: Tulum Tulum, Noordwijk, Netherlands
outfit: shirt: cici london // jeans: topshop // sunglasses: primark // shoes: h&m
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location: Noordwijk beach, the Netherlands
outfit: swimsuit: Primark
is there anything better than a beach day? salty hair, sandy feet and a million freckles on sunkissed skin. this year was the first year in forever, basically as long as I can remember where I was looking forward to summer. I'm not a summer girl and I probably never will but I used to dread summer even more. the thought of having to wear shorts or dresses that show off my arms or legs would make me feel anxious, despite loving the water and swimming I would do a lot to not go swimming with friends and show off the body I wasn't happy with. that all has changed. to be fair, I'm not 100% there yet but I know I'm on the best way I could be and I know that next summer there won't be any fear just confidence. I can't quite believe myself that I was beyond excited to wear my new swimsuit from Primark and show it off at the beach. my confidence boosted due to my weight loss. if you didn't know, I decided to change my eating habits, workout routine and general lifestyle in order to shape my body, boost my confidence and finally be happy with myself.
nothing really has changed eating wise. I don't really eat carbs, processed foods and sugar and it's still easy. I used to have pasta almost every single day and now I haven't had it for almost 4 weeks and I don't crave it at all. I don't remember the last time I had a chocolate bar and I don't feel like having one. I'm not a big fan of restricting myself from certain foods which is why I allow myself a cheat day but there wasn't one in a while as I don't feel like it. I really didn't think I would feel this good. I feel so awake and happy and powerful every day. I sleep better, my skin is radiant and my overall well-being is just plain better. there's nothing else I can say. to me, eating is very personal and it should be what you want and what you feel comfortable with but feeding my body with good and whole foods made such a difference for me and my lifestyle.
healthy life = better life
I don't weigh myself and I don't own a scale because I feel like weight can trigger and since I struggled with an eating disorder but I lost about 15 cm at my hips and I'm now about two sizes smaller. I had to buy new jeans and lots of my shirts aren't tight anymore. my winter coat looks like it's eating me up so it's safe to say I need a new one. my whole lifestyle change was meant to be for weight loss but now it's part of me and I feel so good about it. it feels so good to share pictures of me at the beach and not feel bad about it. my healthy life and journey is not over and I will surely update you on a regular.
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if you haven't been to a lavender field so far, are you even a real blogger? well, where I live there are actually none and I don't really know why but on one of my many bike rides around the Netherlands right now (at least 10k every day) i found one and I had to take pictures. it was beautiful and i was surrounded by bees and bumble bees and the scent was just so relaxing and I could have stayed forever. so am I know a real blogger? considering the amount of content I'm getting out of this trip i probably am. my mum is such a good blogger mum and I can't wait to share everything with you. especially since I've decided to add a column to my blog. it will be about dating, about my experiences and thoughts and the fun and tears I've been through and i can't wait. I hope you'll enjoy it too.
what I did
you might know that i'm on holiday in the Netherlands and it's beautiful. I'm right by the beach in Noordwijk. I have been truly living the beach club life since the weather has been brilliant. I could totally get used to sitting in a beach club and watching the sun set every day. besides doing all that i have been biking around like a crazy person and it's so good. we also explored Amsterdam since it has been a few years since I've been and boy, it's packed! I have no idea what happened there but i don't remember it like this at all and it kinda makes me sad. so I enjoyed exploring other cities even more. I went to Leiden and The Hague and man, The Hague is unreal. it's so super beautiful and there's so much to do. also, i have been so loving m blog and I'm coming up with millions of ideas. you better get ready.
what I didn't do
doing one single thing I didn't want to do. that is what holidays are about and i'm loving it. I usually get so caught up with work and uni and life that i really don't have time to breathe so i'm enjoying just doing what i want to do.
what I ate
I've become such a breakfast person and i'm loving it. so since I'm truly living the beach club life my sister and i went for breakfast at branding beach club and it was so good. pancakes, fresh juices and yoghurt with fruit. it was so yummy and I will blog about it.
what I want to do next week
we are leaving our little house by the beach on Tuesday morning to head back but we decided to visit my family who lives close to Cologne and we don't really get so see them that often so it will be fun and then i'm heading back home. i actually miss my boyfriend and cat. what i don't miss is my routine at home but oh well. lets work hard guys.
one word to describe the past week
beach
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location: tulum tulum beach bar, noordwijk, the netherlands
outfit: shirt: h&m // jeans: primark // bag: tk maxx // sunglasses: primark
i feel like self-care has really been a topic lately and it really got in the focus of many people and i love it, as much as life comes with caring about others, it also comes with the need to care for yourself. technically, if you wouldn't take care of yourself at all, you would probably die. self-care can be feeding your body, curing it when you're sick but also simply breathing but thats not the kind of self-care i want to talk about today. its taking care of your mental health, stepping back when its needed, listening to yourself and focusing on yourself instead of everything around you and to be honest, self-care is hard for me and i really had to learn it. maybe its because i always was very hard on myself or because i just really hae the urge to put loved ones before me and basically all their needs before mine. i would say i only truly learned how to take care of myself within the past few years when my body just made me go on in a slower pace and take some time out to myself and in todays post i want to share those lessons with you.
1. its okay to take a day off
i usually have multiple things to and to be fair i like to be busy and i always make myself busy which means weeks filled with uni deadlines, work things, dates with friends and my boyfriend and other appoinments go by and theres not a day just for me. i used to feel so bad about just having a lazy day to myself that even after the worst hangovers i would cure on sundays i would take my very dead looking and feeling self out for a walk because i couldn't allow myself to just stay home and relax. nowadays i need my me days. i need them to get inspired and ready for everything new coming up and to just take care of myself. it can be a day of shopping, being with my family or just staying at home on my sofa and its okay. its okay to take a day off just to yourself.
2. you should say no sometimes
i'm a people pleaser, i always have been and i want to make sure everyone else is happy before i think about my own happiness and that leads to the fact that i can actually be manipulated very very easily and even if i wasn't comfortable with a situation i probably said yes anyway and went above myself to make someone else feel good and well taken care of. i still have to work on actually saying no and its still hard for me to do but i have to do it in order to take care of myself and to please myself. its okay to say no if you don't feel comfortable or if you just don't want to do something. in fact, you should say no sometimes.
3. cut out toxic friends
i was never one to have a million and one friends and kept a few people close. as i'm a people pleaser i tolerated a lot with friendships especially with a certain group of friends and loads of hate, stress and tears with one person who also talked very badly about me, people i loved and my blog all behind my back and it took me a while to realize how bad that toxic friendship was for me and that it was about time to free myself and it was so good. all the tension left me and i found myself very happy in the friendships that gave me so much and enabled me to give back too. its never easy to let go of a person you shared great memories with and that once stood beside you but it will be worth it and its okay.
4. listen to yourself
no one out there knows you as well as you know yourself. only you can decide when you need to step back and get into a better place and no one can help you better than yourself, at least i do believe that and sometimes you should just do what you feel like doing and listen to yourself. do you feel good about the job you applied to? do you want to grab a drink with friends or stay home and watch netflix? are you comfortable with the situation you're in? do you need a break? i feel like we surround ourselves by so much opinions that we forget what we truly want. listen to yourself and be selfish sometimes. sometimes its needed and you will feel better for sure.
self-care should be practiced and i love that its a topic but i know that it is work. its worth it but some self-care lessons are harder than others. i truly had to learn to take care of myself but it made me feel so much better and self-care makes me be more productive and eady to tackle whatever comes my way. what about you? do you like caring for yourself? what have you learned so far? please let me know.
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if you are active on any type of social media you will have noticed that zoella, queen of the internet, released a new range of products. everyone and their mother seems to be getting some and its everywhere which makes me as a true zoella fan really happy and i wanted to get my hands on some products too. luckily her range is available at the german drugstore rossmann. since it took my local a while to build up the new display i only got my products last week and i'm so excited to share my thoughts with you.
cream & sprinkles
the range is called jelly & gelato and comes with eight products in the range. the makeup bag sadly wasn't available. all ther products are sold in store and online. its inspired by all the gelato you can eat in the summer so very very seasonal. the whole range is elderflower scented so it is very floral and strong but also fresh. i personally am not completely all over elderflower scents but luckily its not too sickly. when i heard the name i expected either something sweet or fresh but since she has done both of those before i understand the move to a different scent. usually i find zoella beauty to be targeted at a younger audience which is why i neve really tried many of the previous ranges. this year however, i feel like they really stepped up their game. the packaging looks and feels much more high quality and looks very lovely. i love the pop art style artwork and the colour blocking on it and it looks almost lik it doesn't belong to the drugstore. i would class zoella beauty in the middle price segment so i'm super pleased with the improvements of the packaging.
i got the three products tha i was most interested in. first is the shower shake. the packaging is so adorble with th straw detailing and it is moisturizing shower gel. just what my dry skin needs. despite it not being my all time favourite scent ever, it does leave my skin so soft and its lovely to shave with. since i adore bath time, i got all the bath products. i really loveed the look of the bath frosting which is a milky bath powder. it comes with four saches and can be added to the bath water. it makes a great scented bath and again is meant to add extra moisture to the skin and just makes a bath even more relaxing. i mixed mine with a lush bubble bar and it literally made the perfect bath ever. i also got the pink bath wafers and they really are pink. its more of a bath bomb style bath and is again more moisturizing than the bath fizzers she did before. again, the packaging is just so perfect and really sold it to me.
all in all i'm very impressed by this range and it was the first zoella range i got truly excited about. have you tried any of the new jelly & gelato products? let me know what you think.
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so when you're reading this i'm already on my family holiday in the netherlands, close to amsterdam and let me tell you, i'm in need of a holiday big time. this last term was just so stressful and i can't wait to explore amsterdam, the hague and also antwerp and i will hopefull get loads of pictures so i can have posts ready for weeks on end. i might not have an instagram husband but a mum who loves taking pictures of me. i mean i make her do it but i think shes fine with that too. as i said before, the week before going on holiday is always crazy and as i'm typing this up i haven't even packed yet...and i still have two videos to edit so thats that. i probably will pack a few hours before leaving.
what i did
so theres always a bit of a conflict when my boyfriend is off work and basically gets up to fun things every day and then theres me, i still had one exam to do but i managed to study still and enjoy a few nights out. we went out with my boyfriends friends, i had a very lovely night with my friends and a wanted to go to the spa too. it sadly was closed so we opted for some wine instead. the exam went very well and i'm so happy to be done now. i also had a job interview for an absolute dream job and they offered me to do a trial day and i can't wait.
what i didn't do
despite eating super healthy i can't really get back into my workout routine and would love to get back to it from now on. i just love working out and need to make more time for it.
what i ate
as i said, i'm eating as healthy as i can so i have been making loads of salads and soups. i basically love adding lentils to anything i eat and since its summer all of the fresh fruit are in season and i can't stop eating them.
what i want to do next week
obviously enjoy my holiday to the fullest. amsterdam is such a photogenic place and so is antwerp. i would love to to some sort of travel wrap up posts about it and might do some shopping. when i went to amsterdam last it was such an amazing place to go thrifting and i found such cool pieces.
one word to describe the past week
hectic
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