is there anything better than the lush seasonal stock? I don' think so and I couldn't wait to get my hands on some Halloween items and I had to wait longer. they didn't launch right after the lush showcase here. so as soon as I was sure they were up in store, I had to go. sadly, there wasn't everything I wanted and I had to order some more online so get ready for a part two. the lovely girls at my local lush had at least a 30-minute chat with me about the new items so I had to buy at least a few of them. this right here is part 1 of lush Halloween and part 2 will be up as soon as the other items get here. so let's get ready for the most spooky and seasonal baths you will ever have.

the first one I picked up wasn't actually on my list and it is the ectoplasm jelly bomb. the jelly bombs are fairly new to the lush stock and I already used the dark arts one and I was thrilled about it. it was just so good. jelly bombs are supposed to add a jelly layer to the bath which weirdly makes the water appear thicker and is supposed to be very moisturizing. what really drew me in was the scent of this one. it's unreal and smells like some sort of sour candy or sweet. it contains Irish moss and grapefruit and I can only hope it smell as amazing when I pop it into the bath. a true Halloween classic is the pumpkin bath bomb. it just looks so festive and I have been getting it every year. to fit the season it's also very comforting and spicy in scent. it has a lovely pumpkin and cinnamon scent and will surely make for the perfect seasonal bath. the last one is the monsters ball with always reminds me of monsters inc. the colours are so vibrant and fun and I also adore the lime and neroli scents it contains. it really is one of the most fun seasonal bath bombs.

have you gotten any seasonal lush items? what do you think and what are your favourites? please let me know.

❤︎





is there anything better than colourful trees? I don't think so. some might think autumn is all grey, rainy and dark but it's like a second spring that almost tastes like Christmas. I'm lucky to live in an area with loads of trees around and this beautiful bright red one was just too special to not take some snaps. it's in my courtyard and I stood there for a while to just take pictures like a weirdo but looking at the pictures made me realize that its worth it to be a weirdo sometimes. I just love it when my blog photos or my Instagram feed looks seasonal and its just so much fun. I always say my love for cherishing the seasons, decorating and feeling all festive for every celebration truly comes from my mum who has already invited me over to carve pumpkins. 

what I did
again, I feel like this week flew by. it was just Monday a second ago. this week was quite packed and I had loads to do. I worked more, I went to the gym, I had a job interview, I had to take my classes, I met up with friends, phew. so much to do but I just like keeping myself busy and fill my days with tasks that either bring me joy or benefit my life.

what I didn't do
there are still so many things I want to do to the flat and I feel like I haven't really done anything towards that in ages. there are some little things I want to do to our bedroom and working on the hallway and living room is up next and I need to get going.

what I ate
I made another pumpkin spice loaf and it's just too good to be true. if you want to see me baking it, check out my vlogtober.

what I want to do next week
I will have a little me time and treat day on Monday and I can't wait to do a little shopping, cook myself a nice meal and just look after myself as the rest of the week will be very busy and filled with work, classwork and everything life-related.

 one word to describe the past week
packed

more vlogtober





❤︎






Most people probably look back at their first job with disgust. I don’t besides it being a pretty crappy and underpaid but it was so much fun. Almost 18 years old me had the brilliant idea to move out of my parents home into a flat with my best friend back then and now. My parents laughed it off and deep down I knew it would be better to not leave the nest but my inner rebel still went for a job so I could afford it (I’m laughing at myself now). The job me and my friend landed was in a smoothie/juice/frozen yoghurt bar. Besides my boss and his full-time co-worker, there were only students. A cheap but dangerous business considering we were all in the same age and we had the bloody best time. We grew into a family and best friends and hung out all the time, mostly partying. We begged the only girl over 18 to run to the grocery store in the mall and buy us jägermeißter or vodka so we could mix ourselves a very boozy smoothie after the shift which we sipped on when we had to clean up the store as the mall closed whilst blasting music (one by Swedish house mafia). Two of the team were siblings and when I first saw them, I wasn’t quite sure what gender they were. Since I was raised to not give one fuck about that and my mum would have killed me straight if I judged someone because of that, I went up to them after we became essentially work friends and asked if they wanted to be referred to as “he” or “she” or something else and both went with “he”. Both of them were born as girls but in their teenage years both came out transsexual and wanted to live life as males. We became great friends. With one of the brothers I clicked right away and we just got along so well and he became really close. I witnessed how he had his first hormone shots and how quickly his body changed. The soft face became harder as the days went by. Sadly, trans people face loads of judgment and it was horrible to witness. When he struggled with his parents he basically slept over at mine for days on end and both brothers were greatly involved in my friend group which luckily is judgment-free.


We were heading to a party and all met up at the train station. Our journey to the location at Alexanderplatz was filled with laughter and sipping jäger straight from the bottle. As we arrived, hiding leftover liquor in the bushes around we danced for hours on end. Besides a dancefloor filled with happy people, there was also a room to just sit and talk. We sat surrounded by friends and since my hands are pretty much always warm he placed his hands on mine so I could warm them up. For some reason, he brought up the sensitive soul in me that I tried hiding so hart. His hand basically never left mine and when we entered the dancefloor again he was standing at the site watching me in the crowd and as I turned around to ask him to join the dance he grabbed my face and kissed me. My knees usually never shake but this time they did.





From this point onward we were basically only seen together as he stayed over pretty much every weekend and it was all a whirlwind of partying like crazy, dressing up as an emo for a fancy dress party and tipsy kissing. More than once I asked myself what actually was going on and what to do with the entire situation but as I learned before, it was better to just let it be. He asked me multiple times if I was okay with him as I would consider myself straight. To me he was a boy, he is a man. We basically got drunk together and slept til noon in my huge bed only to be woken up by my mum as she always opened the window to let fresh air in. Every time she said, “it stinks like alcohol in here”. One night we went out to a housewarming and he got completely wasted which meant we spend a good hour in the bathroom being sick. My biggest phobia is throw up and throwing up so I sat outside the bathroom door, heavily drunk myself crying because I felt so bad for him. He fell asleep with his face on my shoulder in the cab to my house and he very tipsy told me how much I meant to him. I had no idea that everything was about to shatter into pieces after. It still makes me mad today.

What I didn’t really know was that he was in a serious relationship with this girl. In front of me, he always made her look like a casual thing and always went on about how jealous she was and I didn’t give one damn about her but she actually was his proper girlfriend. Because he tickled out the sensitive me I was actually hurt again. Not because I wanted to be her, I wanted him to respect me and her too and at least giving the choice if I wanted to kiss him knowing that he was taken. I got furious and bitterly cold and was so hurt at the same time. He still managed to hit a soft spot with me and we actually saw each other sometimes but I was different. This whole gender thing got confusing again even though there was no need for it to be confusing and I remember opening up to friends on a trip with my German A-level class. I pretty much blew him after that. Not because he was transgender but because he wasn’t respectful and I still have no idea what I was giving him or why he felt the need to not tell the truth. His girlfriend only found out because one of my friends accidentally spilt the tea which makes it even worse.


Gender really doesn’t matter, as long as you are a decent person. Respect and truth have no gender. 

❤︎

Location: Heilandskirche, Sacrow, Brandenburg, Germany
Outfit: Jumper: Zara // Jeans: Primark // Shoes: Primark // Bag: Zara // Sunglasses: River Island








as much as I love finding great products for a drugstore price, there's nothing better than treating yourself to a high-end makeup item. maybe it's the fancy packaging, the tissue paper and lovely service you get when visiting a counter or it's knowing that you were able to buy yourself something nice from the money you worked hard for. maybe you got promoted, finishes a big project or you just deserve to a treat. I am a high-end makeup girl at heart and there are some brands that almost make my heart flutter with excitement. one of them has to be Charlotte Tilbury. I remember walking into Selfridges, so excited to finally own some of her makeup and I loved everything I tried so far. Browing on Twitter as per usual, I saw that Charlotte Tilbury is coming out with an eyeshadow palette for the holidays and I knew I had to have it. Eyeshadow Palettes just make me weak and since I finished the majority of law school I thought it would treat myself. In order to promote her new release, Charlotte Tilbury teamed up with Amelia Liana and Lydia Elise Millen to show the palette online and have a24-hour presale and I couldn't resist and got the Instant Eye Palette straight away.

Hollywood Glam

CT Makeup always reminds me of some very glam makeup a Hollywood diva would have on her fancy vanity as its just so special and beautiful. The Palette comes with 12 shades which are all themed. We have the day eye, desk eye, date eye and disco eye and whilst some are not as bold, the disco and date eye can be built up quite a bit. It contains warm tones as well as cool tones, matte and shimmers. Obviously, you can use the shadows however you please but I find the looks to be very nice and easy to pull together especially in the morning.
To be fair, I didn't expect anything but lovely quality. It comes in the signature rose gold packaging with a big mirror and it is very slim and easy to pack away. The eyeshadow pan layout is actually my favourite as I feel like its most organized and looks best. The shadows themselves are amazing. With loads of highly pigmented shadows I feel like there's loads of crumbling and fall out and it makes me feel like I'm hitting pan way quicker. When I first dipped my brush into the shadows I thought there was nothing on my brush as I felt the shadow didn't move at all but it goes on the lid highly pigmented and the palette looks like it wasn't used. The mattes are not chalky at all and again it feels like the shadows are very firm and its a very unusual texture but not in a bad way. The shadows blend like a dream and do not move one bit throughout the day.

To me, CT didn't disappoint with her new palette and it's beautiful. Its such a treat and the shadows are right up my street and I'm so happy I treated myself to it. I have been using it every single day since I got it. Have you tried it or are planning on getting it? Let me know.

❤︎





its just such a cosy sunday today. its grey outside and stormy too, i have candles burning and i'm snuggled up under a blanket. can it get any better? the older i got the more i enjoy the colder months. i find so much more comfort incoming home from a walk or a day outside in the cold just to get inside my cosy and warm house and have a bowl of soup. i also feel like the sunny and golden autumn days are just so much more beautiful as i actually get to enjoy the outside and not feel like i'm boiling hot. its just my season and i feel like by doing vlogtober this year i enjoy it way more and truly live in the moment and season. as i said before, this year feels just like it flying by. i can't believe we are one week into october and it will be christmas in no time. i better get planing with the christmas posts.

what i did
this past week was such a relief. i had so much on my plate all year and i feel like i'm just getting back into a more relaxing schedule and i really want to keep it up for the rest of year. otherwise i feel like its too much and i'm a big fan of looking after yourself and taking breaks. i did my private classes but also had enough time to see my mum and dad for a shopping trip as it was a long weekend here which means i was finally able to update my autumn wardrobe. since i was able to enjoy my days more, i got to see my friends this weekend and also keep my vlogtober up very well and i even went to the gym.

what i didn't do
i'm actually very happy with myself as i got done what i needed to do which is the best feeling to have.

what i ate
last sunday was my mums birthday and i made her a pumpkin spice loaf and it was so yummy and just so fitting for the season. i might to a recipe and loaf cakes are just what love most.

what i want to do next week
i have a few errands to run on monday and help my mum in the office as well as going to the gym and to my classes. i will also pop to a friend wo moved out recently and i got to see her new flat and since we were so super busy all year, i can't wait for a proper catch up.

one word to describe the past week
autumn

vlogtober so far






❤︎






I always liked tall boys. Luckily, I’m 5”3 which means finding a tall guy isn’t as hard for me. Finding one who is 7” tall however is a whole different story.

I was always into photography. All my life. When I was a little girl I was begging my mum to allow me to take a picture with her proper canon camera that you had to buy films for. When I got my first decent camera there was no one stopping me from taking pictures anymore. I taught myself how to use photoshop (at least for what I wanted to do) and I arranged photoshoots for myself with myself and then edited the pictures after. Pretty much the same thing I do know. I had my camera (no DSLR but it was good), my photoshop and toycamera analogcolour (still use that today) and I had a pretty good collection of pictures on my facebook. Guys seemed to like them too which wasn’t even close to one of the reasons why I did them and they made quite a few men write me on facebook. Some were creeps older than my dad and very few I actually replied to. One I had a great conversation from the beginning with was a guy who will be called the tall from now on. There will be a few chapters involving him. Maybe that really does show that I like tall guys and that some are just great dudes.


We just got along from the very beginning. I was probably at the peak of my after breakup high and I was a pretty damn cool girl. I tried my best to bury my running mind and sensitive character somewhere deep, somewhere where no one could get to so no one could ever take advantage of me again. I wasn’t aware how hard it would be to dig this all out again once I was ready. At the peak of my high, I was reckless, almost heartless and cold but I would say but I had a great time. I was doing really well in school, had amazing friends and partied like no other. This was also my peak clubbing phase and I wasn’t even 18. Good connections and a fake ID were my entry into nights out with fluttery lashes and high heels, new dresses. The ones that made a night fly by and tasted like cheap liquor. Good times. Looking back I would say the tall felt my cold but he still went for it or maybe he was just as cold back then as he also got out of a relationship.


It was getting closer towards winter and the evenings got way colder. We decided to meet up in my neighbourhood. I’m pretty sure one of his relatives lived I the area I grew up and he was from the area too but went to boarding school as he was very good in sports. He rolled around in his parents' car (how cool) and we sat by the river as the cold night rolled over us. At some point between a very good conversation and probably way too many cigarettes, we decided to warm up in a bar just to make it back to my neighbourhood. We sat in my street for hours, almost freezing to death, spying shooting stars and our conversation never ended until he agreed to walk m to my door, to make sure I get at least some sleep. It was the first time a guy walked me to my door and kissed me goodbye and thinking about it he was the only one who ever did it.


Despite having always a good time when we saw each other I was cold, oh so cold. He was one of the few guys who actually got to see my room at my parents home which means a lot. Thinking about it again whilst writing this column which makes me feel all nostalgic and in fact old, nothing really bad happened. Nothing at all but all of the sudden the conversation stopped and I didn’t even realize. Maybe it was my cold, maybe it was his, maybe I will never know. What I didn’t know weeks after he last parked one fancy ass car (they weren’t his but he always drove pretty fancy schmanzy cars) in my street to pick me up that he wasn’t out of my life completely.

❤︎

Location: Ribbeck, Brandenburg, Germany

Outfit: Coat: Minimum // Jeans: TopShop // Bag: Zara // Scarf: Primark // Glasses: Ace & Tate // Jumper: Primark // Shoes: DocMartens






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